Finding true love isn't about having the right shoes or
a flat stomach, it's about being ready. In her new book, Patti Novak,
star of the A&E series “Confessions of a Matchmaker,”
breaks down how to get yourself ready to date by first understanding
and fixing your own problems. Here is a diagnosis of some common dating problems and their underlying causes.
Self-Diagnosis: Identifying the true problem behind your behavior so you can stop it, fix it, and get over it
Chances are, if you’re having trouble dating, you have something to do with it. People often think the problem is external, external factors play a part, most of the time, most people’s problems with dating and finding love are their own.
If everyone you date is a jerk, don’t agree to date them.
If you can’t make it to a professional matchmaker, life coach, anything that gets you to look at yourself and your behavior and gets you in the habit of being more self-aware and self-reflective can be tremendously helpful when looking for love. Which is why identifying yourself and the types of people you commonly date is so important.
Identifying your problem behaviors in dating is a very important step.
Dating trouble isn't the problem — it's a symptom of other problems.
This is crucial to understand: If you’re having trouble finding love, chances are dating is not your main problem. Chances are your trouble with dating is a symptom of other problems — larger, emotional issues that are at the core of who you are.
You need to identify those larger and deeper emotional issues. Taking a cold, hard look at yourself and developing a deeper understanding of who you are and why is one of the most important and fundamental parts of the process of finding love. People spend years having trouble in relationships or not having any relationships because they’ve been too afraid to sit themselves down and try to get to the true cause of their dating difficulties.
Some problems are easier to solve than others. Some clients come to me with issues that are relatively easy to fix once those issues are identified.
Maybe it’s a question of low self-esteem for someone who has gained weight after a bad breakup or after a long period of being alone. Starting a fitness program might be just the spark they need to get them back on track and feeling better about themselves.
But for most of the people, a few basic, fundamental and relatively easy to fix problems are the most common causes of dating difficulties.
If you are interested in changing your dating habits and are looking for help in dating, dating advice and finding a match, contact J. Allen Matchmaking.
Original article, MSNBC
Self-Diagnosis: Identifying the true problem behind your behavior so you can stop it, fix it, and get over it
Chances are, if you’re having trouble dating, you have something to do with it. People often think the problem is external, external factors play a part, most of the time, most people’s problems with dating and finding love are their own.
If everyone you date is a jerk, don’t agree to date them.
If you can’t make it to a professional matchmaker, life coach, anything that gets you to look at yourself and your behavior and gets you in the habit of being more self-aware and self-reflective can be tremendously helpful when looking for love. Which is why identifying yourself and the types of people you commonly date is so important.
Identifying your problem behaviors in dating is a very important step.
Dating trouble isn't the problem — it's a symptom of other problems.
This is crucial to understand: If you’re having trouble finding love, chances are dating is not your main problem. Chances are your trouble with dating is a symptom of other problems — larger, emotional issues that are at the core of who you are.
You need to identify those larger and deeper emotional issues. Taking a cold, hard look at yourself and developing a deeper understanding of who you are and why is one of the most important and fundamental parts of the process of finding love. People spend years having trouble in relationships or not having any relationships because they’ve been too afraid to sit themselves down and try to get to the true cause of their dating difficulties.
Some problems are easier to solve than others. Some clients come to me with issues that are relatively easy to fix once those issues are identified.
Maybe it’s a question of low self-esteem for someone who has gained weight after a bad breakup or after a long period of being alone. Starting a fitness program might be just the spark they need to get them back on track and feeling better about themselves.
But for most of the people, a few basic, fundamental and relatively easy to fix problems are the most common causes of dating difficulties.
If you are interested in changing your dating habits and are looking for help in dating, dating advice and finding a match, contact J. Allen Matchmaking.
Original article, MSNBC
